Tumblr to Twitter. I realize I don’t blog anymore. It’s so troublesome to type out a whole bunch of words that no one will read/understand.

I am guilty of depression (or not?)

Anyway, many shizt been happening recently. Emotional tumble-down & lost of faith in everything. Nothing has been said/done to make me feel better.

Love. What is it exactly? Is it just a mere drama play of faked happiness, is it just a game that you either play or lose, is it a lie, used to decieve you into thinking that you’re so lucky & then brings you down again.

Honestly, I am lost. Everything is changing whether I am willing to accept it or not. Things change and no one can control it I guess. Just like you can’t stop the sky from raining, the sun from shining, the wind from blowing, and you.. from leaving me.

I guess that’s a part of growing up. You learn to deal with pain, you hide it, bottle it up until you eventually explode and decides to tell someone in search of an answer but no, you got the answer but not the one you want. Not the words you wanna hear. And you realize that it’s not the answer that you want. It’s the way you cling onto every last words he says, hoping that there maybe some sort of redemption to save everything that’s happened.

& when you got it. You fell.

Past 4 months was amazing, beautiful. I couldn’t use any other words to describe how special you were to me. Just us. I guess I don’t really have a way with words. You’ve been giving in to me relentlessly. Taking care of me & my well-being. Loving me with every fibre of your being. & I just wanna say that no matter how wilful, stubborn, rude I am towards you, I hope you’ll forgive all that and I’m sorry. You are the best I ever had. I can only beg you to please not leave me because I couldn’t imagine a life without you.

If there was ever a day I had to leave, I may forget the way you look but I certainly won’t forget the way you love me.

This moment is perfect, please don’t go away. .. & I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by.